(the biggest of thank you's to @photonienie for pictures that I will cherish forever and @flordeluzshop for dresses that make you feel like a mexiqueen)
I should have known when I was in labor and the nurse said to me, "Look at that BLONDE HAIR!!" that we were in for a ride. I looked at my husband in bewilderment, how was that even possible? We are both brunettes. That was my first clue.
She was Jocelyn, and she was going to do things her way.
Before having a baby motherhood always seemed so glamorous to me. The baby would sleep all day and just play on the floor and I would have all of this free time to accomplish what I wanted and there I would be, this glowing, slim, beaming happy mother. It was easy. I mean how hard could it be if so many people could do it right?
But like I said. Blonde hair. Just like any baby she came into this world and was doing things her way.
First there was no sleep. Then there was so much no sleep that I couldn't function. Then nursing issues, then more sleeping issues, postpartum depression, then more nursing issues, and what was this saggy lumpy body I was stuck in and why was I freaking balding. Let's not even talk about the witching hour crying that lasted for sometimes 4 hours in the middle of the night that I just had to grit my teeth to get through. And teething, I mean teething is a cruel heartless b, then clinginess oh the clinginess and constant demanding to be in my arms and nowhere else all day every day. I just don't believe it's a stage at this point. It's who she is, she's a mamma's girl, and she's hear to teach me unending patience which I really, I mean really suck at.
So why are we mothers? It sounds so hard, I mean it IS so hard. Motherhood demands everything that we are, and it demands it all the time.
I believe we are mothers because something truly spiritual happens when you sacrifice EVERYTHING that you are for someone else.
And we do sacrifice of everything that we are (see ridiculously whiny paragraph above).
To say our hearts grow ten times is a complete injustice. It's our spirits that grow! That connection and love you feel with their first hand grasp, the first time you are the only one that can comfort them, the first time they beam and smile just for you, the first time you notice that HUGE personality in that tiny body of theirs. That's why we are mothers.
So here's to you, my fellow sister in the trenches of motherhood.
We are mothers.
We give of love freely and ask nothing in return.
We are constantly praying and pleading for our little ones.
We give up recognition and rewards to create goodness.
We do the dirty work, the unending constant dirty work.
We run as fast as our feet can carry us and pray that at the end of the day it's enough.
You are amazing. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are enough.