How To Lose Your Mojo To A Homeless Man

dress: c/o Beautifully Modest buy it here (use code WEARINGITONMYSLEEVES for $10 off your purchase any time in May!)      cardigan: F21      shoes: Target      collar: F21

This dress has been on serious repeat since it's been getting warmer. In fact the other day I was picked up by a homeless man in this dress....no but really. I was in between class taking a lunch break and this guy without a shirt on toting around a full trash bag came up to me and said, "Hey sweetie how ya doin?" Here's the thing about being hit on when you're married, it doesn't hurt your self esteem to know that you're still attractive to the world. It just doesn't. Sometimes we all need the reassurance that we've still got it. However, when it's a homeless man that forgot to put a shirt on this morning, and has a wink that looks like a serious tick, it definitely does not enhance your self esteem that's for sure. Anyways we sat there him trying to get me to tell him where I lived, while I explained over and over again that I was married and that I wasn't going to tell him where I lived. Then some cops noticed I was super uncomfortable came over and moseyed around me and said homeless man got a bit spooked and just winked his twitchy wink and said, "Catch'ya round sweetie". To which I shuddered. I've lost it guys, that day was the day that my mojo officially died.

This Weekend I

Definitely did not plant a garden...next weekend perhaps?? But I did kind of have the perfect weekend other than the fact that I didn't accomplish a single thing that I wanted to get done, but lazy weekends are really just the best aren't they? 

^^ Found the perfect swimsuit and gave the Indian a much needed hair cut

 ^^ Went on a bike ride with Sir Matt and stayed in the back so that I could check out his butt without looking like a creeper.

 ^^ Ate the most delicious strawberry shortcake...and went back for seconds

 ^^ Spotted spring

 ^^ He's kind of the cutest

^^ I love being minutes away from places like this. Can you spot the little baby cows?!!

50/50

blouse: Target            necklace: f21            skirt:c/o Head Over Heels (buy it here)             shoes: F21

I have the highest of expectations for this weekend, but I know that whenever I set expectations for the weekend I end up in my pj's for three day straight attached to Netflix and a bucket of popcorn...so we'll just see how that goes. Truth is, at the beginning of this year I made a 2013 bucket list and I put on the list, plant a garden. This was of course before I killed a cactus and two other succulents and realized that I should never ever have sole responsibility over the survival of a plant. But I'm giving it a try...or you know just going to stay in my pj's and watch Call The Midwife, at this point there's a 50/50 chance of either happening. What are you're weekend plans?!

Simple Every Day Eye Makeup Tutorial

I had to share with you guys one of my go to looks for eye makeup. It's really simple and has a day smokey eye effect. Here's how you can get the look.

1. Apply a soft pink shimmer eyeshadow all over your lid. I use the Stila Smudge Pot in Kitten.
2. Apply to your crease a golden pink color and once applied blend the eyeshadow. I use Push-Up from Too Faced.
3.Apply a dark brown eyeshadow to the outer edges of your lid in the shape of a C. Then blend. I use Sexpresso from Too faced.
4. Then using an eyeliner brush apply eyeliner in a subtle cat eye. To do this I like to start with a thicker line at the outer edge of my eye and then make the line thinner the closer in to my nose that I get. Then once I have a line that I'm happy with I go back to the outer edges of my eye and slant the eyeliner up at the corners to create a subtle cat eye. For my eyeliner I use Bobbi Brown's Long Wear Gel Eyeliner in Black Ink.
5. Then curl your eyelashes and apply mascara. I use Buxom mascara.

That's it! Usually this takes me about 10 minutes so it's a really good look when I'm running short on time in the morning. Let me know if you have any questions or any makeup looks that you'd like tutorials for in the future!

I Love The Crazies

dress: c/o Sheinside (buy it here)         blouse: Forever 21      necklace: Romwe       shoes: Forever 21       lipstick: Nars Red Lizard

So all semester I've been taking this class where I've been learning how to make patterns for specific bodies. It's pretty dang cool actually. So for the class I use myself as my ginnie pig. I make patterns for myself and then construct the clothes, I mean I'll never complain about new custom clothes ya know! But by far the best part of the class is my cray cray Aussie teacher. I've compiled a list of a few of my favorite things that she's done this semester. And I shall never ever forget them because life without a crazy Australian teacher just isn't a life at all.

1. Every time she walks buy me she smacks me on the butt while saying in her amazing aussie accent, "Well hello there dear!"

2. She's seen me in my skivies one too many times while fitting my clothes and always says, "Did you know that you carry all your weight in your middle?" If she wasn't 85 and adorable I'd have punched her.

3. She refuses to talk about measurements in inches and centimeters only milimeters, the true Aussie way!

4. When I ask her a questions that she thinks it's stupid she'll hit me on the butt and say, "Do you even read?!"

5. Her bottle cap glasses that are at least a half inch thick are pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen.

 

Guys. What will I do when I have a teacher that isn't constantly thwacking me on the butt and insulting me??? I love her so.

Invisible

dress: F21         undershirt: F21        belt: thrifted         hat: F21         shoes: F21  (basically my whole outfit is from F21)

 Do you remember when I told you about that old lady that asked if I was new at church, to which I said, "Ummm no I've actually gone here for about two years." Well she did it again today. Same. Exact. Thing. And it just sucked to feel completely invisible again. There is nothing worse than feeling like nobody notices if you're there and nobody notices if you're gone. Humans in general just want to be noticed, I mean don't we, and I don't think that that's too much to ask ya know?

Anyways I didn't handle it well. I looked at her and said, "You already asked me that last week, and no I'm not new, and I'm not the twin of some girl." I was actually kind of mean (not my best of moments) and then instead of going to my next class I just walked out of the building and went home to eat some tacos, BECAUSE AT LEAST THAT DANG TACO WOULD KNOW I EXISTED IF I ATE IT!

This is completely ridiculous, I get that. It's nbd really. And next week I'll go to church with a smile on my face and really enjoy it. But that doesn't mean it didn't sting, and unfortunately this time I just didn't have the energy to laugh about it. I'm just sharing this hoping that maybe if you feel invisible at school/work/church/life. I'm right there with you, now let's go eat some tacos!

5 Things

blouse: thrifted (JCrew)   dress worn as skirt: c/o Sheinside (buy it here)  tights: Kohl's  jacket: Romwe  shoes: Hmmmm good question

1. This week Matt learned that  french fries are bad for you. Literally he said, "Well fries are made of potatoes so I figured they really weren't unhealthy." If only we could all have the mentality of a skinny Matt

2. One of my sister's calls this week started with, "Do you have any suggestions of how I can dispose of a squirrels body?" No conversation can go downhill from there.

3. Matt learned how to talk like Jay-Z from this video and every time he'd walk in the door he'd go, "Jay-Z HA HA!" Also if you need a good laugh this will cheer you up.

4. This week I came up with a design for moto pants that I thought they would turn out AHHHH-mazing. Instead they just looked like saggy granny jeans and I walked around in them yelling "Sonny make me some pants!"

5. Matt mooned me last night, and after he did it  he ran away yelling, "Cheek peek!!"

So how was your week?

Those Tiny Humans Called Babies

blouse: c/o Sheinside (buy it here)  t-shirt: Forever 21   Jeans: H&M  shoes: Call It Spring

Matt and I talk about babies A LOT. We're always watching people and thinking, "Do you think we'd ever do that?" The other day Matt babysat (but I assure you did not sit on the baby) and afterward we were talking about it and we realized that we kind of know absolutely nothing when it comes to small miniature humans.

Sir Matt: "So is it normal that it took me thirty minutes to change a babies diaper. That's about average right?"

Me: "Are you for real...it took you thirty minutes?"

Sir Matt: "Well I couldn't figure out which way the diaper went and then the baby just kept running away. I'm just lucky she didn't pee everywhere with all the running she did."

Me: "RIGHT THOUGH!!! IT IS SO HARD TO TELL WHICH WAY DIAPERS GO!! I mean the cartoons are all the way around the front and the back! One time I was changing a babies diaper and I couldn't figure it out so I literally started asking the baby which way the diaper went. I mean I was so frustrated that I started asking infants for advice! The baby couldn't even talk yet!"

Sir Matt: "Is there such a thing as diapers that are pre-labeled FRONT and BACK? Because we MUST buy them."

Me: "I don't think so, but I'm pretty sure your idea just made us millions!"

Guys. Clueless. Am I right or am I right?

Shop Update & A Big Thankyou!

There are tons of new goodies up in the store (including my all time favorite revival!), I'm so excited to finally be selling knick-knacks as well! And can I just say a huge thank you from the depths of my bowels (ew), for all of the kind and supportive comments yesterday. You have all given me tons of new ideas for the blog and just the inspiration I needed. What the heck would I do without you?! I could kiss ya! MUAH!

Help A Sista Out

shirt: thrifted (GAP)        skirt:c/o Mikarose (buy it here)      shoes: Urban Outfitters       necklace: DIY

Can I be completely and totally honest with you. I feel like I've been utterly failing with Wearing It On My Sleeves lately. And I can't help but feel like I'm letting you all down, I pull disappearing acts, sometimes I wonder if I'm posting things because I'm really passionate about it or because I just need a post to put up, and where I used to open up and tell ridiculous things that happen to me I find myself with a lack of words, I want to let you all in on my personal life but for some reason that wall is still definitely up and I"m still trying to figure that whole "lifestyle blogging" thing out. Basically I'm feeling like this blog isn't up to not only my expectations but yours too. So can we be real for a sec. Can you just help a sista' out. What can I do to make this blog more enjoyable for you? What would you like to see more of? And what for the love of all that is good and wonderful should I absolutely stop doing? And no, "I love everything!" answers because I really want to make this space better for all of you, so here's your chance to rant and rave!

And can I just say real quick, thank you guys so much for all of your support. You're the reason I still have a blog at all. To be honest I never thought I'd blog for this long, I thought it'd be a month long experiment tops, but being able to relate with others that enjoy fashion/awkward stories/Nutella made me fall absolutely in love. So I guess I just want to say thank you, and also HELP ME!!!

Revival Files: Pretty In Peplum

I never thought I'd say this but the eighties has it's hold on me. Its got a hold'a me real good. Peplums, orange lipstick, Fuchsia. I love it all. Raising the hem and altering the sleeves on this dress made a world of difference and now she's ready to be worn by someone that isn't afraid of a perm and some hot pink leggings. Wha'da ya say? She's in the shop if you're up for the challenge:)

5 Things...

top: Forever 21             skirt: Anthropologie via Stylish Treasures          blazer: Sugar Lips        ring: c/o Your Fashion Jewelry (buy it here)

So I have an ear infection. Ewwwwwwww right? I know. But let me tell you, never has a thing been so humbling. Let's begin.

1. I guarantee that there is almost nothing more humbling than having a hipster doctor whose shoes you would totally wear dig truck loads of wax out of your ear. There's just nothing you can say to make the situation more comfortable. Instead I just kept yelling, "Woooooaaaah woooaaah I'm pretty sure you just touched my brain!!"

2. For the time being I'm pretty much deaf and while my lip reading skills are getting pretty bomb diggity, most everything that someone says I have to say, "Sorry I'm temporarily deaf, can you repeat that again?"

To which they repeat it and I say, "Yeah sorry I still heard nothing."

3. I'm pretty sure I'm talking EXTREMELY loud because I can't hear myself and people are just being polite and not saying anything about it.

4. Someone asked me if I wanted to go get Pho for lunch, but I swear it sounded exactly like "Huh" so we yelled back at each other for a good ten seconds, "Want to go get Pho?" "HUH?" "PHO!" "HUH?" "PHOOOOOOO" "HUHHHHHHHHHH???"

5. My husband literally farted in my face last night, and I know that this has nothing to do with my ear infection, but it's just not helping the situation.

To Kill A Cacti

pants: ASOS          shirt: Target         shoes: Urban Outfitters        jacket: c/o Sheinside (buy it here)

Guys, I have the opposite of a green thumb, I have a red thumb....a red thumb of murder. See I kill plants at a ridiculous rate. It's sad really, so to solve the problem I went out and I bought me some cactus...es...cacti, and I was like ha take that mother nature, there's NO WAY I could possibly kill this, it doesn't need water so suck it!!! So I planted all of my cacti's and they sat there all dry like. Well weeks went by, and they just looked like they were starving, it was just sad really. So I watered them, and then I gave myself a pat on the back because me watering plants is kind of amazing. So the next day I go to check on my little cacti's and they all look like little deflated saggy balloons. I mean they are COMPLETELY DEAD.  So I plunged into a dark pit of despair, because I mean really who is terrible enough with plants that they can kill a cactus?? And I vowed never to own a plant again. EVER... and then I changed my mind today when I saw all of the little buds blossoming in all of their glory.

So if there are any of you green thumbing gardening goons out there, is there a plant that no matter what you do to it, it could not possibly be killed by the likes of me? You know, besides a plastic one. Because spring is in the air and I just need to get my garden on.