Hey Where'd You Get That?!

One of the first things I decided to work on when Sir Matt and I moved into our new apartment was a big picture wall, I wanted our new place to feel like a home! One by one I've found just the right things for our family wall (My last and final piece was my water color of us printed on canvas from Uprinting Canvas Prints! It feels good to finally have it finished!). I've gotten some questions recently about where I've found the pieces on my wall, so here you are my lads.

1. Silhouettes of Matt and I : Made in photoshop with pictures of ourselves. Want a tutorial??

2. I Love Us Print: It was a free printable! And you can print it out here in lots of different colors!

3. Water Color Canvas: I painted this last week on a small piece of paper and wanted to find a company that could turn it into a giant canvas. So I had it printed by UPrinting Canvas Prints, it's super affordable and easy to order. I just downloaded a picture, picked the size canvas I wanted and they sent my canvas to me in the mail. Anyways, you can order your own canvas here. All you need is a good 'ol thrift store frame to put it in and you're good to go! I really love how it turned out, it has the look of a real painting! (If you want more info about the canvas you can find U Printing on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook!)

4. Do What You Love and Do It Often Print: Free printable! You can print it here!

5. Cross stitched arrows: I made it. Super simple, you can just draw triangles on a piece of cloth and fill in the triangles with stitches. I think it took me about an hour to make.

6. Sewing Box: I found it at JoAnne's on sale, I think they still have them too!!

Hope this helps guys! Happy Decorating!

*Find my post disclosure here

The Pick and Flick

jumper: Anthropologie    blouse: c/o OASAP (buy it here)  belt: thrifted   shoes: Call It Spring

I always see people in the nicest cars picking their nose. I mean there’s no polite way to say that so I’m just throwing it out there. See a BMDub, yeah there will most definitely be an old man pulling at his nose hairs and digging around up in there. See a soccer mom in here velour jumpsuit and an escalade…I bet she’s doing the thumb shove and pick. I’ll tell you the weirdest thing that happened to me this week though, I caught a guy in his car picking his nose, and I was kind of gawking because really I had no idea a finger could go that far into the nasal cavity and he caught me staring….and then smiled and gave me a thumbs up.

I was weirded out enough by the fact that people have started thinking that their car is the cloak of invisibility (LOTR!). But this guy, he was doing the pick and flick and flaunting it. The human race, I tell you what, it baffles me.

The Bachelorette: Week 7 Recap

1. It’s confirmed, Emily is indeed one of those obsessive crazy face girlfriends. “ What??? OMG Aerie you had a date with a girl 10 years ago and you didn’t tell me about it??? Like what else is he hiding? Maybe he speaks to other woman throughout the day and doesn’t tell me what he said….maybe he has even looked at another woman before!!!” THE HORROR!!! Emily, you’re obsessive, and Aerie, due to poor camera angles I was forced to stare at the two zits on your jawline for your entire date. Both of you should be ashamed, for different reasons of course, but ashamed nonetheless.

2. Poor Arie was so clueless about the whole dating the producer ten friggin’ years ago thing. Let me recap for you, Emily begins her interrogation “I just think it’s so important to be open.” Aerie of course agrees, because he knows what’s good for him “Yeah me too. I think it's good to be...too open.”  Emily starts to show that she knows something he’s not saying “Like lay all your cards out on the table, you know” Aerie’s thinking, what the heck is she talking about, OH I KNOW! And then Aerie confesses the dumbest thing ever “I have something I should tell you….I got the name of a girl tattooed on me once…but I covered it up.” Aerie this would also be a good time to tell Emily if you’ve a) ever wet the bed b)shop lifted a piece of candy when you were seven or c)wore a woman’s pantsuit Michael Scott style.

3. The Chris Harrison’s summation was classic, like guys, there are cameras around 24/7 and you honestly couldn’t get a shot of what would have been perhaps the most interesting part of the show. Instead we had to watch Chris babble about the clip we should be watching. LAME!!

4. My  favorite quote of the night? Well let me tell you! "It's weird to rub a dog that represents loyalty when I know that he has a SECRET." No Emily, it’s just weird to say the phrase “ Rub a dog that represents loyalty.”

5. I would now like to pause this Bachelorette rant and share a DIY with you. How to DIY Aerie’s girly ribbon shirt.  1. Have your mommy buy you some ridiculously ugly fourth of July ribbon 2. Glue that crap on, or if you’re Arie handstitch it as you watch your daily dose of Lifetime TV. Tada you’re done, now go prance around Prague in your womanly shirt!

6. Sean running through the streets yelling “Emileeeeeee!!!” made me SOOO uncomfortable!!!! At some point did he think, hey, maybe I should ask this here camera man filming me where Emily is, nahhh I’ll just run around the streets for a five more minutes. And guys, Emily was so planted in the street like, oh don’t mind me I just spend the end of my nights lurking in dark alleys, don’t you??

7. John was dressed as an 80 year old man on their date. And he can't draw a boat to save his life. The end.

8. Can we talk about for a second how Doug tried to kiss Emily AS she was breaking up with him and then after he kisses her she says, “Thank you for that.” Yes Doug, thank you for showing us what teenage angst really looks like. That poor schmuck just did not have a clue, and when he left he wanted us to all know that he thinks his girl radar is broken. What tipped you off Doug?? 

Oh and Doug's ugly cry had one final hooorah!

9. Chris is going to turn into a serial killer at any moment. I mean he was quite literally convulsing at the rose ceremony and I was pretty sure that he was going to go all Jafar on us and morph into a big devil snake and kidnap Emily. “ I KNOW I’m the perfect man for Emily.” Chris, if you had any sense of reality, you would know that 1. Out of all the guys you have the lamest relationship with Emily. 2. You have a serious anger issue that you should get checked out, the cry convulsing/devil snake eyes just has to stop.

Just look at those eyes!!!

10. Jef has some legit puppet skills. Like, fo real, was he just waiting for this, “Man oh man I wish upon a star that Emily will take me on a date involving puppets so that I can show her that I know how to make a puppet moon walk!! Oh I wish upon a star!!” beside all of the awkward puppet confessions, I kind of really like Jef and his grease monkey hair.

Iron On

 skirt: thrifted    shoes: thrifted    blouse: c/o Romwe (buy it here)  bag: ASOS

I often forget of this foreign concept....what is called...how you say, oh yes, common sense. That's the term. Yes, most days it is nothing but an after thought, I do something terribly idiotic and then afterward think, "Oh.. perhaps I should have thought about that before I said that stupid thing/called that woman a man/ tried to chest bump that girl walking down the street because she had rockin' pants on (hypothetically speaking of course, and just fyi, girls don't respond favorably to chest bumps.ever.) You see, today I was leaving for work, wearing this precious pastel piece of pretty and it was ridonkulously wrinkly, so you know what I did? I'll tell you what I did! Without a thought I grabbed the iron and ironed the whole dang thing while it was on me, I mean obviously  I checked every few seconds to make sure my clothes weren't melted to my skin...a safety precaution of course. I then gave myself a cerebral high five for being so creative and scooted my hot (literally steaming hot) butt to work. It wasn't until I got to work that I thought, Sarah, you are dumb, stop doing stupid things at a constant rate mmmmkay, oh and p to the s ,you forgot to iron the friggin' hem you wrinkly mess, GET IT TOGETHER MAN!!

Wordless

necklace: diy    shirt: thrifted  (h&m)  jeans: sistered (GAP)   

Watercolor Wednesday Would Have Sounded A Lot Cooler

How much longer did you think I could go without including the Indian in my water color memories...I mean really. We all new a fluffy pup water color was due any day now. 

Bachelorette Recap: Week Six

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I debated for one second not doing a review this week and then realized people, someone must insult these men! So here it goes!

1. Travis got kicked off and really people who is surprised. His main gimmick was a dang ostrich egg. As Travis left he awkwardly threw his umbrella-ella-ella to the ground and then said, "Man I have a heart this big." Yes Travis, you're heart is big, but not quite as big as your ostrich egg.

2. Insert TERRIBLE advertising for the movie Brave and Emily and all her girlfriends bachelors sitting around commenting on the movie. "I just can't help but notice how similar the movie is to what we're going through here at the Bachelorette." SO DEEP! And yes, exactly like the movie. Emily is presented with a bunch of sissies and decides they're all total LAME HEADS. And they all lived happily ever after the end.

3. Chris. Oh poor Chris. I would compare Chris' arrow shooting stance unto that of a certain Kim Kardashian golfing. After making a total fool of himself at the Scottish games in Croatia (who holds Scottish games in Croatia???) Emily gave him the bravery cup also called the "I'm So Mortified For You That You Deserve This Pitty Trophy." 

4. Ryan almost made Bachelorette history and almost by the hair of his weirdly shaved chinny chin chin talked Emily out of not giving him a rose. But I think there are more important things to talk about where concerning Ryan don't you. Like the fact that he literally wore a WOMANS TANK TOP AND BLUE SUEDE SHOES IN THE SAME EPISODE! Emily said she wasn't sure why but Ryan just didn't seem like the right choice??? Hello, Emily, girl, he's wearing women's clothing, shaves his beard like Senecca Crane and ACTUALLY owns blue suede shoes. If that doesn't scream douche then I just quit life.

5. Ryans list of 10 Ways To Make Ryan Happy made want to find all of the possums in the world and then set them free in Ryan's beard. And let's not forget that EVERY man needs a trophy wife. Puke puke. Moving on.

6. Will someone stop all of these grown men from constantly crying???!!! The ugly cries were in abundance! Over abundance! But then again this is a perfect example of what my face looks like when I see Arie practically drowning Emily in his saliva baths. Nobody likes a sloppy kisser Arie.

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7. Guys this has to be the most boring season of the Bachelorette in history, and Ryan was my only source of entertainment...and now he's gone. Oh no my face is morphing into Doug's ugly cry again!

Like White On Rice

hat: f21   bag: thrifted    shirt: c/o Romwe (buy it here)   skit: Nordstrom    shoes: thrifted    sunnies: f21

Here's the thing. It's summer, right? Right. And I'm pale. Right? Right. And the thing is that I used to REALLY love being tan. But now I don't know, I just love being my pale pasty self, its my dumb way of sticking it to the man I geuss. Showing  the world that I'm comfortable in my own skin. Not trying to be something that I'm naturally not you know. I don't know, it's silly really. But having pale skin is my way of telling the world that I like myself just the way I am, and I'm comfortable being me. Is that silly? Yeah it's silly right. Anyways, world meet the real Sarah, pasty white and not afraid to do an elfish jig to turn your frown upside down. Huzzah!

*P.S. All you tan people out there look bad-a. I'm not trying to say anything bad about being tan, so please don't stone me with your bottles of self tanner, 'cause I love you like Indie loves a belly rub .kthanksbye.

Pin-Test: The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie

My sister Jen and I were talking the other night and started ranting about how ridiculous Pinterest has become. I have thirty recipes for "The best chocolate chip cookie" and the "easiest diy necklace" and I just get SO overwhelmed that I don't even end up trying any of the stuff I pin for myself. How dumb is that? And also lazy, but well that's not a Pinterest issue, just a Sarah issue. Moving on!  So I would like to introduce you to a fun little game called Pin-test. Where I'll try out recipe's and DIY's for you and tell you if their worth your time. What do you think? Are you interested? About to explode with anticipation? About to pee your pants in excitement? Well go to the bathroom then you weirdo! So here's my first test, the hunt for "The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie"

I tried four different recipes that all claimed that they had found "the perfect chocolate chip cookie" and this is the one that not only tasted the best, but turned out perfect every.single.time. Which for me is the miracle of all miracles. So without further ado, behold the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe (fyi- I slightly adjusted the salt in this recipe)! Now pin away my little pinners!

The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie:

3/4 c. unsalted butter, softened 

3/4 c. brown sugar 

1/4 c. granulated sugar 

1 egg 

2 tsp. vanilla extract 

2 c. all purpose flour 

2 tsp. cornstarch 

1 tsp. baking soda 

1/4 tsp. salt 

1 c. bittersweet chocolate chips

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2.  In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars until fluffy and light in color. Add egg and vanilla and blend in.

3.  Mix in flour, cornstarch, baking soda and salt. Stir in chocolate chunks.

4.  Using a standard-sized cookie scoop or tablespoon, drop dough onto a prepared baking sheet.  Bake for 8-10 minutes, until barely golden brown around the edges.  (The tops will not brown, but do NOT cook longer than ten minutes.)

5.  Let cool, on the sheet, on a wire rack for five minutes.  Remove from baking sheet and let cool completely.  Makes approximately 3 dozen.  Try not to eat them all.

J-Mo and Other Saucy Things

dress: c/o OASAP (but it here)    sweater: h&m   necklace: thrifted   shoes: thrifted

I have become my worst nightmare people. I have become the one in the family that can’t remember a birthday to save her life. It’s despicable (despicable!). Really. Last month it was my sisters birthday, the day came and went, I remember thinking at one point that I really needed to fill my car with gas…oh and not forget to do something else. But whatever that else was I just couldn’t pin point. The day came and went and then I woke up to a text,

“ You forgot Jen’s birthday….and she definitely noticed, she’s pretty mad about it. Better call her.”

OH THE WRATH OF JEN.

First you must know this. In our family, Michelle is the sweet one, Emily is the funny one, I’m the annoying one, Jason is the only form of testosterone in our family that exists and Jen, Jen is the fiery diva (don’t deny it Jen, don’t fight the fiery diva!) In fact we call her J-Mo (Jen Morales…oh Morales! My maiden namesake!) because she’s like J-Lo but mo saucy like.

So anyways, at this point I’m all, “I have disturbed the saucy diva!”  And my knees trembled like unto Mary-Kate Olsen after thinking about eating a cheeto…oh did they tremble. So I call the diva divine woman Jenny, and after thirty minutes of begging and pleading for forgiveness she finally decided that to right the error of my ways I must buy her a second present. (Let it be known that my first present was friggin’ awesome, a leather bomber jacket, the crem de la crem of birthday presents you know). But now all of my hard birthday present shopping is for naught. Alas I must find a second.

So anyways, Friday rolls around and I’m all, it’s my Mom’s birthday! And I remembered! A true miracle! And guess what, I get phone calls and texts all day saying, “It’s mom’s birthday DON’T FORGET.” People, I remembered! But who would believe a poor pitiful forgetter like me now?!

I regret to inform you that I have become that pitiful sibling. The one that everyone calls on their birthday, instead of the other way around. Oh wretched me. What’s a scatterbrained girl to do….other than go buy everyone in my family two birthday presents in advance...

Revival Files: Chevron

Total Cost = $6

I saw this dresses and even though it was a complete mumu sack I just could not get over the chevrons. Sometimes I pick up a dress because I see a cute little dainty dress dying to be set free, and other times I just see a big 'ol sack with really cool fabric. This was the latter, but I actually really like how it turned out. I took in the dress on the sleeves and sides and then gave it some darts in the back to give it some shape, and of course made a new hemline. Mama likey.

*Remember this lavendar goodness revival files that I made for a wedding? Well the wedding has come and gone and it is now up for sale for $35! It's a M/L (which I know is vague but it's SUPER stretchy and giving) if you want it shoot me an email!

Short Wind

dress: thrifted   blouse: F21    shoes: thrifted

Life has been...a lottle crazy over here on my end. Lot's of work, traveling, family and photo shoots, which leaves me brain dead and staring at this screen like a complete zombie and wondering if there's any blue otter pops left in the freezer. Are there? Because I will not be settling for that nasty green ones, pink yeah sure, but green, NEVER! So to compensate for my lack of writing I'll just distract you with a bright piece of clothing. Ooooh ahhhh, everyone stare at the bright green clothing (otter pop green!)....now forget you were ever here....and come back tomorrow (and I slowly tip toe away to gets me some popsicles).

DIY Brooch Necklace

DIY Bib Necklace

You'll Need:

7-9 brooches (I got mine from this line, you can buy them here)

A bag of small gold connectors (15 piece)

2 chain connectors (I got mine from this line, you can buy them here)

One necklace chain (the clasp at the top was already attached on mine, also found from this line, you can buy it here)

*All of this jewelry can be found at both Michaels and JoAnne's

Craft Time: About 15 minutes

1. Gather all of your brooches and pendants and arrange them how you would like your necklace to look. (If you don't have a collection of brooches the Styled by Tori Spelling line has some great options to choose from, that's where mine are from)

2. Use the gold circles to connect the brooches together.

3. Make sure to connect the brooches to each surrounding brooch For example my center brooch with the blue and gold is connected in four different places with the gold rings because it is surrounded by four brooches.

4. Keep connecting the brooches until you have one large piece

5. At the two top brooches where the necklace will be connected attach two of these necklace connectors.

6. Then attach the chain to the necklace connectors.

You're done!

* This is a sponsored post using pieces from the Styled by Tori Spelling line however the tutorial, pictures and opinions in this post are my own. 

The Bachelorette Recap Week 5: In Which Men Become Women

Emily and.....The Beast!

1. Emily’s face looks exactly the same all the time, and I just can’t stand by and not say anything about the definite botox that’s going on up in those cheeks. The silence is killing me people, someone must speak up! Her, “I’m so happy to be here.” line (used oh 30 times throughout the episode) sounded exactly like the clear eyes guy. Only Emily, my eyes are not clear right now, they are tearing up with fury.

2. What's with all of the delicious meals being made and not eaten on every.single.date. Will anyone ever eat on the bachelorette?? Will we all be forced to look longingly after each and every truffle dessert and filet mignon and then see couple after couple walk away with both meals untouched. You guys, for every meal that is wasted, another 20 people become obese in America …yeah I’m sure there’s some kind of stat on that. Look it up.

3. Sean and his “speakers corner” moment made not only him turn beet red…but it made me want to throw beets at him and then pop two beets in his nostrils and force him to take an embarrassing picture. He has given that exact.same.speech. to Emily three times now. His whole, “I’ve never felt love, but I have seen my parents feel love.” Creepy onlooker? Sean, my man. This is not giving Emily more confidence, it’s just reassuring her over and over again that you have no real life experience. Now please stop and go write a new speech.

4. Emily called Sean his “Prisoner of love”…and then I realized that I am a prisoner of this show. And no matter how cheesy this whole thing gets I will still be here, forced to be frienemies with The Bachelorette.

5. On the acting date Kalon’s completely condescending attitude was once again overlooked. Here’s the dirty deets, Emily walks up to Kalon and says,”What’s up?” and then Kalon descends from a cloud to speak to the lowly commoners and says, “Unfortunately nothing.” And then Kalon turns to Emily and says, “Run along now.” Woah Kalon, buddy. I know your luscious lips cause even the smartest of us to mistake you for a woman but you know you AREN’T REALLY the Bachelorette right?? Mo one's going to see you playing games and go after you. You are competing for her love here. You know that right??? 

6. The stereotypical Brit was seen and not enjoyed at the theatre performance. Terrible teeth and moles, can I get a David and Victoria Beckham up in this audience?

7. You guys. For the performance Arie was dressed exactly, EXACTLY like Bell. Weird ponytail mullet and all.

8. Helloooo overreaction. Did Kalon deserve to get his butt kicked out of there? Hells yeah. But let me just throw this out there, in any other real world Emily would be labeled as the crazy girlfriend for freaking out over the guys not “protecting” her. Emily, you southern bell you, you clearly had it handled, you’re enough mama bear for all of us. And chelloooo, the guys were gossiping like school girls about it all night and just thought they’d get sent home (tread lightly!) if they said something bad about each other. Emily, don’t you see, you have successfully instilled the fear of God in these men. Bravo. Bravo.

9. When Jef with one F and Emily kiss it just makes me feel all nasty inside. He looks like he’s kissing his aunt. Baby face Jeff may be a smooth talker but I don’t see any cheek bones or jaw muscles growing underneath all that fleshy baby bottom skin any time soon.

10. How many men are going to ask Emily for a kiss? Since when did the Bachelor start recruiting third grade wusses to be on the show. We need real men!

11. Jeff is better at pillow talk then most girls. I mean he is DEEP, he knows what the ladies want to hear. He DEFINITELY dresses better than most women. I just couldn’t handle a man like that outshining me all the time, the ladies just GOT to be the prettiest in the relationship you know. I need a lazy man that’s currently trying to grow a mustache because he thinks it’s “funny”….I need Matt is what I’m trying to say here.

12. ALEJANDRO ALE ALE-JANDRO- I know that you are young, and I know that you may love Emily. But she just can’t be with you anymore, Alejandro, because you’re a shroom farmer!!!

All Stuffed Up

dress: thrifted   belt: thrifted   shoes: Target

Guess who's sick as a dog and still trudging her way through work....this girl! Obviously these pictures were taken on a much happier less stuffy red runny nose day. Let's take a moment to remember those wonderful times shall we. Ugh, I would cry but snot would just spray out of my nose so I'll just leave it at that. Here's  to hoping that my Dayquil loopiness doesn't get the best of me today. 

Chillin' Out Maxin and Relaxin

Man who do these kids think they are? Cool cats or something? What married couple long boards at parking garages and skate parks as much as we do? I'm pretty sure we're having an identity crisis...longing for the simpler times, or we're just immature and refuse to grow up. I mean I'd like to think that we'll be doing this kind of stuff for oh...forever.

Dear Sir Matt,

Will we be still be long boarding like hooligans when we're 40? I think so don't you. Oh and also, will I never stand up on a long board as long as I live? Oh and one more also, will you still be eating all of my delicious Nutella when we're 40 too? Because that just cannot continue any longer.

Love,

The Wind Beneath Your Wings and Junk

Glowsticks and Moths

Provo is a total hidden gem in the summer people. They do this rooftop concert series every summer that's completely free and you just sit on the roof of a parking garage and listen to some amaze balls bands.for a couple hours A few of my girls and I went over the weekend and had a blast.....thus explaining the glow stick picture, that's what I call a blasty blast my friends. Check out the band that played, I'm kind of obsessed with them.

The Bachelorette: Week Four Recap

Behold the tail!

1. Doug got the first date with Emily and I checked out after he used oh about three batman references within his first 10 minutes with Emily. You can feed Emily the whole, “With great power comes great responsibility” Junk. But we see right through you. Is anybody else seeing the creepy wife beater with a temper vibe from Doug? Don’t worry Emily, it’s always darkest before the dawn, and Doug he is your midnight. Ooooh look at me using metaphors!

2. Doug and Emily got down to the nitty gritty and started talking flaws. It got deep people, scary deep. Doug confessed that he, “Spends too much time with his son” and “Didn’t wash his girlfriend’s cars enough.” That’s a deal breaker there Doug, we women all need to end up with someone that constantly ignores us and then commands us to go and clean the kitchen. No wonder your single. Emily slipped  a flaw in there too, “Well I don’t work out.” Wow. You two have a lot of baggage, who could accept that?! But Emily don’t think your fooling anyone, that four inch gap between your thighs tells us that you’re not scheduled for another meal for at least a month. Now go look at a picture of a bagel to cure your morning shakes.

3. Doug then confessed that, “Doug hasn’t kissed a girl in a really long time…..Doug hasn’t kissed a girl in…months.” Doug, my man, you will be kissing nothing but your pet cat if you don’t stop talking in the third person.

4. Ryan has lost absolutely ALL of his game and has now started using the sports team one liners that he is probably screaming at little twelve year olds on a daily basis at his “sports facility”. “I’m not here to impress you, I’m here to make an impression upon you.” “If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’.” “We finally started working as a team, not harder but smarter.” Ryan if you hadn’t shaved off your devils beard this episode I would have ACTUALLY declared you the devil. But now your just a tool.

5. John aka “Wolf” no really that’s his name, said and I quote, “I just want to stand out from the pack.” Wolf. Isn’t your whole calling in life to be IN  a pack.  Just sayin’

6. Approximately seventeen people used the, “I really think I’m falling for Emily.” line. Which in real world translation means, “I’ve had one date with Emily and she’s got a hot bod.”

7. The combination of Emily’s giant oversized Veneers and her horse ponytail at the cocktail party had me thinking that she was going to nay and gallop away into the distance at any moment. But alas, she remained human and dressed as an eighty year old cougar, white jumpsuit and all.

8. WHY! OH WHY did not a single person comment on the fact that Jef with one f was dressed as a school boy at the cocktail party. Black blazer, Bermuda shorts and light blue knee length socks. I just am so overflowing with gay jokes that I can’t even go there. I could picture a guy coming up to Emily, “Emily, I’m concerned that one man here in light blue socks to his knees, who shall remained unnamed, is here for the wrong reasons. He’s not here for you Emily, he’s here for the men.” And scene.

9. I fell asleep four times during this episode. No really.

The Disappearing Indie!

Jeans: Target   Blouse: F21    Heart Pin: DIY    Shoes: Thrifted

Let's play the game called which picture did Sarah Photoshop Indie licking her rear out of. Bet you can't tell! I'm friggin' Houdini people!

I'm Going To Go Crawl In A Fetal Position Now

Pleather pants: Windsor    blouse: H&M   scarf: thrifted    sunnies: F21

What the f. I tell you what the f is. I never thought I’d wear skin tight pleather pants that’s what. I mean I think in some strange Grease fantasy I have maybe someday wanted to go to a carnival in them and shimmy back and forth with Matt and sing until my heart’s content….but other than that….not ever did I want to try them. But strangely enough I kind of….dare I say….like them. Oh what has become of me!  But then again I never thought I’d unknowingly punch a pregnant woman either so I guess anything can happen. Oh before you get all judgey about the with child mishap let me explain, because I’m not a terrible person (okay yes I am). 1) It was a playful punch, kind of a, I’mma sock you in the arm if you say that one more time kind of thing. 2) She was known for telling lies to make you look stupid and gullible in front of everyone 3) I have strength that is roughly the size of a barge apparently, because my playful punch accidently was…not so playful.

Okay so here’s the skinny, the 411, the low down down low. Me and we’ll call her Prego Ego were in class together and our conversation went something like this.

Prego Ego: “Sarah you’re so stupid.”

Me: “ What?”

Prego Ego: “Yeah you heard me”

Me: “Yeah well your fat…and so is your mom.” (15 year old Sarah is dumb…and also in highschool, give her a break will ya.)

Prego Ego: “I’m not fat I’m just pregnant”

Me: “Whatever”

Prego Ego: “ No really I’m pregnant”

Me: “Whatever, stop lying”

---and que Sarah’s stupid sucker punch that is roughly the strength of a barge----

Prego Ego: “Are you serious…..I really am pregnant stupid” -and then she runs away crying

Me: “Oh my gosh really…I’m so sorry…I didn’t even mean to hit you hard…YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH??!!”

---and que the end of our really strange acquaintanceship----

---and que the birth of a child from Prego Ego roughly eight months later-----

My life people. My life. Could it get any more terrible than that?