A Sneak Peek

This weekend I got to work on a quirky commercial fall photoshoot with the awesome Landini (I feel like the name Landini shows what a magician of a photographer Landon truly is don't you). I just wanted to give you guys a quick sneak peak behind the scenes before I show you the entire spread. I had way too much fun creating these outfits, I would wear every single one of them, and also did wear one of them right after I got home. What? I do what I want! Also, is our model Nena not the cutest thing you've ever seen. Nena just happened to get proposed to right after the photoshoot too! A pretty eventful weekend no?!

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

I got my hur did by my awesome friend Caitlin. When Caitlin started blow drying my hair and I could see the color I had a mini panic attack because I've never ever done any type of drastic coloring with my hair. But I've learned my lesson, and that lesson is, in Caitlin we trust!  And also....I whip my hair back and forth, and when I'm done a' whippin, it looks like this.

My Thoughts on My Place In Life

I've been short on words lately. And you all know by now that that is just not me. And I think it's because I really haven't been able to talk about what's been weighing on me. So here's me pouring out my soul, to you. Please be kind and gentle with my heart will you. So let's go back to where it all started shall we. August.

A Fact about August: In August I started to get a little itchy.

You know the need for a change itchy. I wasn't really sure what the itch was though. I just needed something. That's when me and Sir Matt decided to get our little Indie. She was just the cutest you know. Fluffy and cuddly and just never stops loving you. Oh Indie brought so much to our little family of two. Indie filled a little hole in my heart, she really did.

A Fact about Indie: While she is just what I needed, and perfect for our family. I still felt itchy.

Fall went by and I needed something. It was like I was always thirsty and I could have a tiny drink from a water fountain but never a big honkin' gulp from a glass of water. But until I knew what this strange feeling was I really couldn't do anything about it. Could I?

Along came December. 

A Fact about December: December scared the crap out of me.

I knew that my time at school was coming to an end. I thought multiple times about delaying graduation because I felt so terrified about leaving...about going into the real world. Even though I couldn't shake my fear I started applying for jobs. After no replies and promising interviews left undone I decided to leave it alone and enjoy my Christmas Break.

A Fact: I was at my Grandma's house,  neck high in a bunch of patterns and vintage fabric when I got the call. 

My grandma had taken me down to her old sewing room and was showing me all of her sewing treasures. Moments like these are always my favorite. Me and my grandma just sat there, with vintage patterns scattered all over the floor, she started telling me stories about the kinds of things she used to make. 

A Fact About Me and My Grandma: I found out that day that me and my Grandma are a lot alike. We love to create. To create beauty from nothing. To feel like there are never any limits. To feel like the world is ours for the taking. Yes, I felt close to my Grandma that day.

As we sat there talking about sewing techniques and all of our favorite things to make my phone rang. And I knew exactly who it was. I'd been called and told that I'd gotten the job that I thought I had absolutely no shot at in the world. I ran up the stairs and jumped into Matt's arms. I was so happy. I didn't need to feel scared of what was coming next. My family came in the room to congratulate me and hug me and as I was filling my excitement with hugs there that itch was, as itchy as ever. And the dryness in my throat sunk deep into the back of my neck. Something still just wasn't right.

I'm telling you all this because it took me seven freaking months of thinking and thinking until my little noodle couldn't think anymore, until I finally figured out what this itchiness is all about. 

Facts about why I was so dang itchy all the time: 1. I got Indie because I really needed something to love and to nurture. 2. I was so afraid to be done with school because I knew that a big change was coming, and I had no clue what that change was. 3. In my sewing class I was assigned to make a little girls dress and when I took the dress home I hid in my room and cried a little bit because I knew that there was no little girl at home to give it to. 4. I treat Indie like a baby, because I want a baby. 5. Holy crap it's so weird to say that, I want to have a baby. 6. I'm ready to be a mom.

This is a huge thing you guys. I've never felt like this before, or at least known that I feel like this. But here's the catch.

A Catch About Why My Itchiness Just Can't Be Scratched Yet: While me and my Sir Matt are just so excited, we just aren't ready....yet. Our lives just aren't anywhere near to where we need to be in order feel ready to take that exciting next step. Matt will be in school for at the very least another year and a half. AT LEAST. Somebody needs to bring home the bacon if you know what I'm saying. And Matt having the very best opportunities through school is our number one priority right now. Thus leaving me as, the bacon bringer home-er.

A Fact About Where This All Leaves Me: This is why I've felt so weighed down lately. So drained. I'm so excited to be a mom, so excited to start a family, AND I JUST CAN'T...for right now. I feel stuck. Motionless. Like I'm swimming in drying glue. And I've come to a conclusion. It's always been a struggle for me to feel completely happy and in the moment. I love to look forward to what's coming next. But in order for me to be truly happy through this agonizing waiting time, I need to learn to be happy with where I'm at. Happy with where my life is right now. And to be honest, I feel like this is my last big lesson to learn before I can really be ready to be a mom. And dangit I'm going to learn this lesson if it's the last thing I do! So here's me telling you that I need a little bit  of help and adivce. I still allow myself to feel excited, to think of what being a mom will be like. But at the same time I just need to relax, and take every day as it comes. And love every minute that me and my Sir Matt have together. 

So yes. I suppose those are the facts. And this is me saying that today I'm very happy with where I'm at in life. And I'll take on tomorrow when it comes.

Hi. Did I Mention I'm Lame?

skirt: thrifted      blouse: thrifted      belt: thrifted        purse: Asos    shoes: Call It Spring

Sorry for the lack of words this week. I have been so dang busy and I have so many thoughts and subjects I want to tell you all about but for now their just a jumbled mess of words slopped around in my head. So let's just start over next week okay. I promise to be better. Pinky promise. Something about poke a needle in your eye promise.

I Couldn't Resist

pants: f21      blouse: thrifted       tie: Grandma'd        Purse: thrifted        shoes: thrifted

Okay just one more peak at the spring look book. I couldn't resist.

Photography By: Landon Drean Photography

Life Lately

1. Cotton candy skies

2. Last day of class EVER, and what do you know I run into an elf. What luck!

3. Obese BYU fan

4. My favorite statue on campus

5. She spends half of her life like this.

6. In case you wanted to know what I would look like with a hairy neck

7. Cupcakes for dinner!

8. BYU volleyball game...mustaches included!

A Sneak Peek at my Spring Look Book

blouse: thrifted (GAP)       necklace: thrifted       belt: thrifted       skirt: borrowed (Shabby Apple)     bag: Asos

My very favorite photographer (Landon of course!) and I put our heads together this weekend to come up with a spring look book for a magazine spread coming up in March. I wanted to show you guys a little sneak peek! Even though  the weather was freezing I can't help but be excited for spring now! Winter, I love you....now leave. Okay so I don't really love you...just leave.

Noteworthy

Wolf Gang makes me want to join a gang. A gang of love for their music. Nuff said.

Looking Back

 

Maybe it's just Valentine's day making me all mushy, but last night I started going through old photos of me and Matt and just could not wipe a silly grin off of my face. No matter what's going on in life we've always managed to make life fun and interesting. We wanted to share with you guys a few of our favorite memories over the years. Starting from the first picture of course and working down.

1. Taking Matt to the orchestra for his 22nd birthday and sprinting through main street in Salt Lake and laughing as we were wolfing down rice crispy treats for dinner hoping we would make it to the show on time.

2. The night Matt told me he loved me. I'll never forget that night.

3. Same night, Matt loves to squish my face when we take pictures.

4. Walking around downtown Arvada during Christmas time looking at all the quaint little shops and lights.

5. Long boarding in our very favorite parking garage and of course war painting each others faces with dirt. so classy.

6. The month we got engaged. Oh we was gaga alright.

7. My first trip to Matt's home to meet his family. I fell in love with them right away.

8. Our vacation to Las Vegas when Matt had just started his brand new grown up job.

9. We love rock climbing!

10. Our first time in Hawaii, about to go out and try surfing for the first time.

11. The week after our honeymoon. We set up all of our furniture in our tiny little apartment and then carved our names in the kitchen table. It felt like home.

12. Our very first vacation together as a married couple.

13. We'd been engaged for two months. There was a huge snow storm so we went out and played in the snow piles in parking lots all night. My California boy froze his hiney off.

14. We'd just gotten engaged. It snowed and we went out and wrote "Just Married" on all of the parked cars on my street.

Ah swoon. Here's to tons more memories coming our way!

Titled Untitled

blouse: Ann Taylor Loft  Cardi: Thrifted  Button up: Target   Pants: Thrifted  Boots: Thrifted   Necklace: F21

I'm having that kind of writers block where you just stare at the blinking little line for about twenty minutes and then just give up and go eat a bowl of cereal and call it good. So yes, clothes. I'm wearing them. Oooh so sparkly. And scene.

Want To See The Best Part of My Night?

My Sir Matt knows how to make me laugh I tell you what. The other night I came home from work and found these little scoundrels waiting at the door for me like this. It was kind of the best part of my day. Okay it was definitely the best part of my day.

That Time More Bizarre Crap Happened To Me...

skirt: in the shop       blouse: Asos       tights: Target

Me and the Indie, everyday for lunch we go on a walk. You see, I read whatever book has me consumed that week and she wanders around sniffing other dogs rears and trying to catch the feisty ducks in the pond. This lunch deal we have, it works quite well you see. So there I was walking and reading, walking and reading when all of the sudden I notice the Indie wasn't by my side anymore. I kept looking around and all I could see was this lady walking her dog. So I kept calling my little scruff's name"....Indie....Indieeeeeeeee....IIIIIIINDIEEEEEE!" Guys, she was nowhere to be found.

Now just so you know Indie is the most loyal little lady around. If she wanders at all she's always in sight, she's attached to her mama you see. So I knew something strange was going on. So I started to walk faster, searching the park, when all of the sudden I noticed that the dog that the lady across the park was walking looked a lot like my fluffy little Indian. But I thought to myself, "No it couldn't be. That would be cuhhhrazy."

So I kept looking, and slowly got closer to this lady and her dog. And you know what?! The closer I got I realized that this nutzo lady had taken Indie, put her on a leash, and was hightailing it out of the park with my fluffy ball of scruff. I had no clue what to do. Guys this junk doesn't happen to people! It just doesn't!! So with no clue how to act I started to yell, "EXCUSE ME!!! EXCUSE ME!!" and the lady wouldn't turn around and acknowledge me. So I started running at this lady at full speed, in my dangerously high work heels, and began flailing my arms while screaming, "HEY LADY!!! THAT'S MY DOG!!! HEY YOU!!! THAT'S MY DOG!!!! HEYYYY I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" She finally stopped and with the sly embarrassed look of a thief muttered, "Oh this dog?", completely flabbergasted I said, "YES. That dog. It's not yours." to which she sheepishly took Indie off of the leash and booked it out of the park. Guys. What the what??? Did what I think happened really happen! Did some cray cray lady try to swipe my dog? Please give a woman some sanity and tell me what the crap just happened?! I feel like I'm on crazy pills here!

DIY Valentines Pom Pom Garland

1. Wrap the yarn around a fork horizontally about 15 times

2. Wrap the yarn vertically three times and then tie a knot 

3. Cut the loops of yarn

4. Repeat until you have enough pom pom's for a garland line, then using invisible thread, thread the pom poms through the invisible thread to make the line of garland.

Addictions Are Just The Pits

Jacket: Thrifted      Blouse: Ruche      Jeans: (Gifted)American Eagle      Purse: Gifted (Target)

Can't Talk. Must read!!! Two words. Book Thief. You know where I'll be. Cuddled up in my blankets next to Indie being consumed by this book.

A Lazy Day On The Slopes

Me and Sir Matt spent our sunny Saturday day tubing down the slopes at a Ski Resort nearby.We slid down the slope on our bellies, on all fours, standing, Matt even tried to maintain a yoga position down the hill. You name it, we tried it. We kind of just love to be kids like that. The best though was sliding down on my belly and getting a mouthful of snow in my face and having a chilly white beard by the time I reached the bottom. Matt thinks I would make a convincing old man with a white beard, and I kind of agree. My snow beard was legit.

I Think I Joined An Old Man Cult.

Trousers: Asos (buy it here)       blouse: Asos (buy it here)        Shoes: Call it Spring        Clutch: c/o Francesca's 

I joined an old man walking group this weekend. But see it all happened so fast! I didn't even realize I'd done it until the deal was sealed, and now I just feel like I sold my soul to the devil. You remember Myrna? The dog of the previously Jewish Atheist from New York? Well see I was out walking Indie and we saw Myrna and New York man (I should really learn his name) and we started walking. And then as we walked, Isabelle the golden retriever and his neon hat wearing owner joined in on the walk. And then what do you know Sydney the Australian Shepherd that makes baby making eyes at Indie came along for the walk too.  Before I knew it I was walking around the park with four old men reminiscing of the old days when things were simpler and how our kids turned out alright even after our terrible parenting. I don't even have kids people! Anyways, so as were talking, baby maker Sydney starts to chase Indie with his crazy baby making legs and I'm all woah I've got to get out of here before Indie's gets impregnated and what not, and then New York man suggests, "Hey this was fun, let's do it next week!" Before I could say anything everyone nodded their head and then went their separate ways. So yes, apparently now I'm part of an old man dog walking club that I have no idea how to get out of. I feel like I just joined a cult. So scary. So thrilling! What'll we talk about next? Fear of our children putting us in an old folks home!? Oh also, Indie will probably be impregnated within a fortnight by Sydney the horndog if I don't get out of this doggie cult soon. So pray for Indie's uterus, and that it will be barren unto the dessert.

Noteworthy

Last night I confessed my love for you guys to Matt and showed him all of your rockin' comments and he agrees, you guys are indeed the coolest people in all the land. If you missed yesterdays comments you just have to go read them.  The truth was told yo. Anyways, Avalanche City. Sooo goood. And what more could you ask for in a music video than little penguins being tugged along by a polar bear. Nothing, the answer is nothing.

Polkie Dots

Blouse: F21    Cardigan: F21     Purse: c/o Francesca's Collections (use code SARAH for 30% off)    Jeans: American Eagle     Shoes: Thrifted

I always wonder who really reads what I write. Because I mean really, I'm not writing about life changing stuff here. Just regular weird things that keep me entertained in life I suppose. So anyways, I was thinking about this and it got me thinking and I would like to propose an experiment. I want to test out who reads my random comings and goings, so if you're reading this, write a comment about your least favorite thing that bloggers do (just you know because, I mean don't we all just do the weirdest stuff on our blogs). And well if you're not reading this, than we'll know by your comment and giggle over our little inside joke because your comment will say something like, "What a pretty outfit! Come enter my giveaway, kisses hugs, love love XOXO Gossip Girl" you know...or something like that. Okay experiment....BEGIN! I can already tell this is going to be fun. I may or may not just go write my own comment.