I'm slowly but surely just resigning myself to the fact that Jocelyn will always look like a cave woman. I can put her in the cutest of clothes and come 12:00 both knees will be black, her hair will be matted with food she just had to rub all over her head and her face will be covered in some type of brown goop. Why is everything that she wants brown? Why can't it be a nice nude shade, or invisible perhaps. On Friday we were having a little picnic and she had what I thought was a giant rock. I figured it wouldn't be too bad to suck on it because really it was huge. Well she bit into it and the rock freakin' exploded, like mushy gushy green explosion. The tricky little "rock" was a big 'ol fatty mound of duck poop. I leapt at her and scraped it all out of her mouth before she could swallow, but the damage had been done, ugh I am dry heaving just thinking about what happened. And that was it, I realized no amount of vigilance can save her from big 'ol piles of crap disguised as rocks. I feel like this is a metaphor about something much deeper don't you....nah let's just keep it about crap.
It's ok, Hilton got some dog poop from the tennis court in his mouth and I about died! Where are your shoes from?
ReplyDeleteYou look adorable - that dress is so fun!
ReplyDeleteOh my word. Well, this is a story to took into the "If I ever have kids" file in my brain. Rocks can be poop.
xoxo,
Laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/
That is so disgusting. I'm dry heaving too. Wish I could say it ends with babyhood but NOPE.
ReplyDeleteDYING forever
ReplyDelete