I'm in the mood to talk. Do you have a sec? You know for one of those girl chats where I just talk and talk and don't necessarily want any solutions. I just want you to bring the kleenex and the large bag of candy and.... can you cry on demand out of sympathy? Ha.
My body is barely functioning right now. Like everything is screaming, SHUT DOWN!!! MAYDAY MAYDAY!!! ABORT!!! And I'm guessing you could guess why my body is acting like this, but I'll just be one of those super annoying bloggers and keep you guessing until the opportune moment for me to spill my guts. k. Also it gives me strange satisfaction that only the people that read my annoying rambly words will get a hint at what's going on. Because you guys are the die hards in my book. The creme de la creme.
I'm pretty sure that this is the only day that I got dressed this week. We walked to the park, and I had to give myself a serious pep talk to get these pictures snapped right before my battery died, and also before you know, my body felt like figuratively dying.
I know that this too shall pass, and my body will feel okay again. But right now it feels like the end of the world, because I have a toddler full of energy, one that is vying for my attention by the minute, which is the cutest you guys, its' the cutest. But I can hardly even pick my head up and muster a smile.
So could you do me a favor? Like a serious solid. Could you comment with a random funny story, or like something that will make me pee my pants. Because I need to forget about my body for a sec and just laugh, and I consider you to be a pretty rad friend.
Thanks a mil.
xoxo
Gossip Girl
When I was in college at Utah State I lived at Snow Hall, a four story building where all the floors looked the exact same. Shiny white cinder block walls, giant heavy purple doors. So one day I climb the stairs to my floor and when I got to my apartment, realized I forgot my key. So I'm banging on the door because I absolutely know two of my roommates are home at this time. I'm yelling, (perhaps cursing a little) and generally whining and yelling and banging some more. I'm just so annoyed and I'm craving a bit of a ruckus. After about 5 full minutes of this business, the apartment across the hall opens the door and a guy peeks out. Not just any guy, MY STRANGER CRUSH. (You know, that guy you pass in the stairwell and on campus and he smiles and you freeze like an idiot and never really talk to just crush on him so hard) and he's like "Can I help you? Those guys aren't home, are you ok?" Honestly I couldn't speak. I am not a shy person and I was absolutely dumbfounded for what seemed like an hour but was probably 10 seconds. My confused face must have given it away. "Don't you live upstairs? Are you on the wrong floor?"
ReplyDeleteThe horror.
Me: "Ummm I don't know"
I DONT KNOW?! So smooth.
Stranger crush : "Well do you need help?"
Me: "Um I don't know... I mean, no, I ummmm, bye!"
Turn and swiftly walk away, take another flight of stairs to my floor, walk in my apartment, lay on my bed, and try not to have a seizure from embarrassment.
I DONT KNOW?! I mean really.
Ohhhhh EEEMMMMMMM!! I feel your pain girl. My cheeks got red just reading this!! I totally know the feeling of freezing around cute guys and somehow you just lose all of your brain cells. Hey if you guys ever get married you'll have a heck of a meeting story!!
DeleteYesterday I was on campus with my toddler for over 4 hours while I met with some professors. At one point, I had to pee super bad so I hauled my overflowing diaper bag, backpack stuffed with books and laptop, and cranky baby into the teeny tiny stalls in the maeser building (please tell me you've used that bathroom. Your knees hit the door when you're sitting down). I'm holding the diaper bag and backpack on my lap while I sit down to pee. Then I feel splashing all up my back. I have no idea how this happened but he had snuck behind me and was splashing and giggling His head off. I wanted to scream! Pee water all up his arms and splashed everywhere. Soooooo disgusting.
ReplyDeleteYEESSS I had to use those bathrooms all the time, I had a lot of classes in there and they are the worst!!! Oh my gosh I can totally picture Joc doing something like this! I feel for you mama!!! It's one of those super nasty moments that all you can do is laugh because if not you'll cry....or dry heave.
DeleteI think I know why your body is turning against you.... hmm ;)
ReplyDeleteOk funny story: I was pranked a co-worker by putting all his office supplies in the vending machine in our break room. Or maybe that was just from an episode of the Office that I watched last night. You decide ;)
I hope you feel better soon! Sending love and hugs your way!!!
Bekah I was so just talking with someone about needing to put everything they owned in jello all in the name of the office:)
DeleteSo this was not recent at all...
ReplyDeleteTake it back to 2002, I was 12 at the time but remember it like it was yesterday. Mom, dad, 5y/o brother and I were home when the bell rang. Dad told us all to hide so we went to my room, turned off all the lights and closed the door. The people at the door was a friend of his with his wife who were selling water filters at the time door to door. Dad told them that weekend would be good for him to stop by and forgot about it until the bell rang but didn't have the heart to just say no. So his friend called him and dad said we weren't home and didn't know what time we'd be back, now mind you, all cars were in the driveway lol so, what did his friend do? He waited! We were in my room for about 2 hours before my dad gave up and went outside and told some bs story about how we got home but used the back door. He and mom were so embarrassed that they wound up buying 2 water filters we never used. Every time his friend brings it up we all laugh.
Hope you feel better soon!
Bree
Oh my gosh Bree!! That is so funny!! Something similar actually happened to me about a year ago. I was breast feeding Jocelyn on the couch and someone knocked on my door and so I just pretended I wasn't home. (Pre story real quick, I teach the high school aged girls at my church and they come over a lot) anyways so it was a group of high school girls at my church and they were just pounding on my door for like five minutes and wouldn't leave, were peaking through my windows all of that good stuff. Well I thihnk that they've left but lo and behold they went around the back to see if my car was there and then ended up playing with my dog for like an hour in the back yard so I was totally trapped!!!!
DeleteI have the tissues and crying on demand at the ready but hopefully you won't need this now! A bird shat on me today. I hope that made you chuckle. Right down my front all the way down onto my tan suede skirt and I had to walk round like this all day!
ReplyDeleteBig love,
Kat
xx
www.laydeykatabella.co.uk
Let's see...no peeing of the pants producing stories...but trust me on this one: look up the video "Sinbad on Nutrisystem" on youtube. My husband and I die ever. single. time. And I'm proud to say that our toddlers have seen it so much that they can quote it! I just die. Hopefully it'll help give you a laugh and distract you for a minute from the feeling like death-ness. Hang in there!! You're amazing. Love your cute blog. :)
ReplyDeleteSo yesterday I went to the bank to withdraw some money. I was looking up my account balance and then was planning to withdraw a certain amount. I realized that I didn't have my bank card and ripped apart my whole bag/wallet to try and find out and then I started thinking about all the places I had been the day before and where I could have possibly left it. I was just about to leave the machine when I came to the realization that I can't look at my account balance without my card! My card was already in the machine - total stupid moment. I don't know what I was thinking.
ReplyDeleteBack when I worked in the Chem Dept at BYU, I was talking to a professor over the phone. They told me what they needed and we discussed whether or not I could help them out. We finished up the conversation, the professor thanked me, and while I meant to say either "You're welcome" or "It's no problem", I ended up saying "It's your problem. Bye." and hung up the phone before I fully comprehended what I had just said. It was great. Haha
ReplyDelete