Apparently my Butt has been getting all social behind my back. I'd call that two faced but in this situation I think it's completely appropriate to call that two cheeked. I got a hint of the affairs that have been going on yesterday when I got this text from a friend.
"It was nice talking to your butt Sweet Canadian Mullet =P"
a) I'll explain the nick name some other time
b) That smiley face texty sign is way too ecstatic for the likes of me.
I contemplated the witty comments I could reply with (I mean when referring to butt dialing the witty comments are unending really) but instead I opted for a tasteful.
"My butt says SOOOORRRRRYYYY."
I began an immediate investigation. I mean, was this just one of the many liaisons that my butt was having with my friends? I had to know. Has my butt been trying to steal all of my friends via phone calls? I was pretty sure it had. Were my friends all going to decide that I was not as cool as my cheeky other half? Probably.
The evidence confirmed it. My butt had been secretly dialing six other people that day.
This has not been the first time I had caught wind of this (man the stinky jokes are just killing me, are they killing you?).A month back my butt was dialing one friend in specific OVER and OVER and OVER again. I even had to go to the drastic measure of deleting that person from my phone book (Still love you Courtney) just because somehow my butt had decided that they needed to be called at least twice a day.
But this was just too much. Six people in ONE day?
So I did what any other person would do. I gave my butt a serious kick in the rear (it was hard but I did it, it was more of a jog and kick your butt situation, much less dramatic and effective than I thought) and called the issue resolved. Occasionally during the day I'll threaten it with a " Don't make me come back there." but I'm pretty sure it learned it's lesson.
Do you butt dial at rapid rates like I do? Am I a terrible person? These are the things that haunt my mind.
My sister has the same problem! Her butt goes on rampages and will call people at will! She does have a rather large badonk so maybe that has something to do with it's matching social appetite...
ReplyDeleteI love this color on you. It is just a beautiful shade of purple. Love the cut of it too.
ReplyDeleteNo Guilt Fashion
I love this dress! And I never have a problem with butt dialing, because I keep my phone in my front pocket - you should try it :P
ReplyDeleteTales of an Illegal Midget
hahahaha! Hilarious. I don't butt dial often, but I get calls occasionally from people's butts. I hope your situation resolves :)
ReplyDeleteI don't have a phone that butt dials, but my dad butt dials me all the time! You look so pretty in purple!!
ReplyDeletehahaha this is sooo funny :P I have luckily never butt dialed anyone before ;)
ReplyDeleteI love this colour on you it's amazing!
i purse dial my mom 3 or 4 times a month!
ReplyDeleteThis post cracked me up! I'm sure I've butt dialed a few people since I started using cell phones but my husband used to pocket dial me ALL the time...years ago! Sometimes my grandpa pocket dials me too. It's just so funny. Great post and your dress is so adorable!
ReplyDeleteYou are HILARIOUS!!! This post perked up my day massively!
ReplyDeleteMy cheek hangs up on people a lot. Sometimes I thank it.
I am laughing so hard at my desk people are starting to stare!!
ReplyDeleteI have butt dialed my hubby before and he gets so annoyed. Love the color and cut of that dress on you!!
LOL this has fortunately never happened to me. I have accidentally dialled people while taking my phone out of my pocket, but never butt dialed anybody.
ReplyDeletehahah wow 6! that is a bit intense! cute dress :)
ReplyDeleteDon't make me laugh while I'm sneaking in blog reading at work! I can't get caught! Stop it!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, you're hysterical.
That dress is utterly, and simply, amazing on you. The shape, the fit, the color, everything! And your hair looks really pretty in these photos too, it's almost like you straightened it or used a shine serum or something.
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love your post...you made me laugh and laugh...!! my hubby use to do that when he was at work but since he had it in his front pocket, i think his thigh kept calling me...it would make me laugh when he would do that...and his thigh even called his professor one time too...lol
ReplyDeleteHoly cow I love this dress! You look amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think purple is your color.
ReplyDeletethe worst is one you butt dial someone you haven't spoken to in years. also i got the other end of the story a few days ago. i was butt called. so i called back. no answer. so i called back later only to hear from the owner that it was nothing but an accidental butt call. thank goodness the call came from a best friend. otherwise my obsessive need to find out why they called would have been annoying.
ReplyDeleteoh yes, the butt dialing! i dont do this often since i put my phone in my butt pocket on rare occasions, but you should def be careful...sometimes, your phone likes to dial out when you're having a nice conversation that, maybe, shouldn't leave the room :) hope your problem resolves!
ReplyDeleteI love your dress! The color looks amazing on you :)
ReplyDeleteHaha butt dialing is the main reason why I don't keep my phone in my back pocket anymore :P