The Bachelor: Can Someone Hit The Snooze Button

You guys, how dare I not post my Bachelor review the day after the show! I’m despicable, but seriously that episode was boring even though the bachelor did EVERYTHING and I mean everything they could to try and fool us that it was interesting. But well whether or not we like to wax our wustache’s (woman mustache’s) it still has to happen anyways right. So let’s do this thing.

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            - We had the pleasure of watching two awkward blondes kiss for THREE AND A HALF minutes. I thought they would be cutting between the kiss, and perhaps a commentary about Chris Harrison’s awful vest but NO. We had to watch the whole.dang.thing. And by whole dang thing I mean awkward girl laughing the entire kiss and Sean man handling awkward girls butt. It was not pretty people. Of course afterwards awkward girl confessed, “That was one of the most romantic thing’s I’ve ever done.” WOAH. Hold up. I’ve seen more romance between a piece of bread and a duck, you people need a reality check.

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n         -  Oh the group date. The second I saw all of the girls wearing matching sponsored bikini’s I knew it was about to get cray cray up in there. Of course they make the girls compete in beach volleyball so that A) Sean could watch them flop around the sand in bikini’s and so that B) We could watch a game that is so terrible that even ABC’s edited clips couldn’t fool us, not a soul ever even got the ball over the dang net! My favorite part of course was when America’s Next Top Model starts crying because she, “Worked so hard to win. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR.” If anything not going on the second half of the date has only helped to save her from Sean realizing she’s a nut job, am I right or am I right??

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      - I was NOT expecting Kacie B. to go crazy girl on Sean, but I mean she did start wearing shirts for dresses back in episode one so we knew something was a little bit awry from day one didn’t we. Kacie B made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and you could tell it was a total ploy on her part to just make other girls look bad. Her basic argument consisted of, “Two girls in the house don’t like each other, so you can see that this is really hard for me, and that obviously I needed to tell you about it.” NO KACIE B. THIS IS THE KISS OF DEATH!!!! We’ve seen this time and time again, and now you just look like the crazy girl of the house. I declare you sentenced to the crazy girl friend zone for life! There’s just no coming back from that ladies.

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      - Tierra (I am still depressed that we’re both from Colorado by the way), was I on crazy pills or did NO ONE ELSE see her fall down the stairs at all. All I saw was a clip of her laying on the stairs one second, then being carried on a gurney in a neck brace the next, oh and then one second later she just takes off the neck brace, sits up an walks away saying, “I’m fine, I’m fine” something smells of stinky fish to me, and we all know none of you girls are cooking in the kitchen! I just don’t buy it.

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          - Ashleeeeeeee is sweet, the date was sweet and really not memorable to me. There’s no spark between them. The end.

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       - Guys Kacie B. is gone, I was so not expecting that. You got me ABC, you got me. But other than that the whole episode was a snoozer. America’s Next Top Model and a girl I’ve never seen before went home, and we were all left wondering why we spent two hours watching this mess while sawing our teeth to nubbins would have been way more enjoyable.

Here’s to a hopefully more entertaining week next week!!