The Bachelor Week Two: Stink Eyes and Poorly Worn Lipstick

 

That's a stink eye if I've ever seen one

-Woah. Helicopter, sky scraper jump all in one date! So glad that Sean is making up for the coma that Emily put us through last season. I’m sensing a hot tub coming in the near future!!

- Okay, this is risky territory here, but I don’t like Sarah. I mean I like me but I don’t like the one armed Sarah….okay that came out wrong. I don’t like the fact that she isn’t confident in her own skin, she just looks like a little puppy waiting for Sean to tell her what to do. And does anyone else get the sense that she’s sleep talking with her eyes open in all of the interviews. And also also, if she says “Oh my gosh” in that valley girl speak one more time I might have to free fall off of a sky scraper less the harness and champagne at the end. And the “I think I’m falling in love with him!” after spending one date with him? Wandering puppy you guys, helpless wandering puppy.

- ABC please stop making Sarah talk about the fact that she only has one arm. WE GET IT.

- Sean, “I consider myself….well I am a man.” Is there some type of gender situation we need to know about here? We never questioned that you were a man Sean….well until now that is.

-Congratulations Kristy, because you are a model you can model better than people who aren’t models! Such an accomplishment, was it just me or did this episode just turn into America’s Next Top Model, “You’ll win a three cover contract with Harlequin novels!!!!” and Kristy literally throws her hands in the air and starts screaming. Really girl, you just won yourself a poorly lit trashy picture on a poorly written trashy novel, please for the sake of my sanity sound a LITTLE BIT less excited.

- Lesley and Sean’s awkward chat time. Cringe worthy, “So get a load of this house right?!” “Yeah.” I about died when she goes back to him later that night and says, “ I just needed to give you something.” And then awkwardly kisses him and says “You’re welcome for that.” Glad to see we’re keeping these relationships at the 13 year old level here.

- Was it just me or was Kacie B. sentenced to the friend zone? I mean after Kacie B. tells Sean that she liked him he talks about her being here “being a big adjustment” and then just sits there in awkward silence. I love the girl, but he’s going to keep her around long enough for her to get nominated as The Bachelorette and then send her packing.

- The vegan “loves the beef”. Too.many.jokes.can’t. function. You dirty little vegan you.

-Katie (referred to by muah as “the hair” throughout the entire episode) was sweet, and you could tell she was clearly awkwarded out by the whole situation of being on the show. Hopefully she’ll be returning to a less humid state where her hair can recover from its current state of birds nest meets sweaty tourist.

- I REALLY like Desiree. She was way down to earth and you could tell that her and Sean definitely have an ease about them when they’re together (aka I did not want to puke while I was watching them talk). The only thing I don’t like is that Desiree didn’t punch Sean in the face after that stupid prank. First we’re on America’s Next Top Model and then Punk’d…..you need to chill the freak out ABC.

- Amanda (reffered to by muah as “the teeth” throughout the episode), can we talk about her yellow dress that she stole from Tyra Banks. There we talked about it. She can give a serious stink eye, I’m glad she’s staying, she’ll keep it interesting next week, and also hopefully wear a cone bra dress too!

- Someone needs to have a seminar on how to wear lipstick up in there. These girls are a mess, a clown faced mess!!!

- Guys, wedding dress is way too desperate. Every time she’s with Sean she throws herself at him and is always hanging on his neck. It just grosses me out, but Sean is loving it because well, Sean "considers himself a man", and therefore needs women throwing themselves at him. Okay maybe I'm just being all judgy judgy because she wore the same dress for the rose ceremony that I wore to my middle school preference.

- Kacie B’s job description says “Ben Season”. What a tragic thing to be known for, “Oh you know that Bachelor that looked like Francine Frensky from Arthur, yeah that’s how I got here.”

-I am so glad that Robyn brought up the whole race thing, because we were all wondering if Sean likes white, milk or dark chocolate weren’t we?! Of course he was so eloquent and politically correct, “I’m looking for my best friend!” Just say it Sean, black and white isn’t just the perfect combination in fashion is it???

I'm thinking the Des and wedding dress will be in the final two....and also that I should start wearing a center part. Your thoughts please?!