On Happy-ness

Have you ever been completely living in the moment and thought to yourself," I have to remember this exact event. I have to remember every detail of this. Every person here, every laugh, every smile. I have to remember how happy I am in this very moment." Those moments feel like absolutely nothing in the world could make you more complete, like you would burst at the seams if even one more ounce of joy entered into your body. Your fingers and toes tingle and everything around you gets a bit hazy as you start to feel nostalgic. It's happiness like that, that I always seem to be searching for. I don’t want it to only be a part of my relationships, family, and loved ones. I want it to be in everything I do. Earlier this year I accepted a job knowing full well that I would be suppressing a lot of who I am as a person and what makes me happy. I figured that I could make myself happy after work. Note to all people in this world. This is a terrible, terrible idea. I ended up feeling unfulfilled, wondering what if I had gone for my dreams and  trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, why such a huge part of me was not happy. That’s why this summer was so hard for me. I spent long night after long night in the office feeling empty, when really I should have been thriving because I was getting all of this responsibility and learning all sorts of cray cray new things. Finally one night it hit me, I needed to finally have a little bit of faith in myself and go after what I really love. That’s when this post came about, and really, sorry it was so vague. I just wasn’t really sure what I was going to do, and how I was going to go about doing it, I just knew without a doubt that I wasn’t where I should be. It was so clear, and I have no clue why it took me eight months to figure it out.

So this brings me to now. I’ve never felt so excited for my future and ready for this huge change in my life. I’m going back to school for Fashion Design with the goal of designing my own clothing line and starting a business. And I just feel like stars are going to burst out of my toes if I keep it in for one second longer! So yes, big changes are coming. Am I terrified? Absolutely. Am I excited? Without a doubt. Am I happy? I’m tingly toes and bursting at the seams happy.

Oh yeah, and I’m searching for a new job. Nbd right J